Super Troopers 2

Nothing has Changed in 17 Years

ST5

So, Super Troopers 2 happened.

The start of the film is promising. The first few minutes resurrect Sean William Scott, pay homage to the Wayans lineage, and introduce an all ex-cop band called “Cracklin’ Bacon.”

America, fuck yeah.

Then, about two minutes in, we get our first homophobic joke. Yay?

ST2

The first Super Troopers came out in 2001, 17 years ago – not nearly long enough for Hollywood to forget about a shamelessly cash-grabbing reboot. This time around, Super Troopers 2 rolls out the same stale premise.

I would’ve loved if the Broken Lizard Boys would’ve taken the picture in an entirely different direction from what they rolled out, which was more or less a shaky foundation upon which to make drugs accessible for the entire movie. I was stoked when Stiffler showed up behind the badge, and our cadre of stoner cops were fabbed-out in Hair Band gear and rocking out on the party bus. How dope would’ve it had been if we would’ve taken this dream-scenario, made it real, and followed Cracklin’ Bacon on its cross-country tour? What hijinks to be mined with a plot revolving around ex-cops being actual bad boys, rather than the Make Canada Great Again Johnny-Laws they revert to in Super Troopers 2. It’s 2018, man, Cops are over, brah.

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Instead, after the transcendent opening sequence fades to mere dream form, the Highway Patrolmen go right back to where they started – The Fart Fraternity – to inundate us with Theta Chi levels of body-fluid humor and sexual innuendo.

The plot is ridiculous, but we expected nothing less. As it turns out, a Canadian town is on American soil because the map wasn’t drawn correctly. OK. So, the Super Troopers are pulled out of forced-retirement to head to Canada and patrol the area as it converts from Canadian to American.

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The villains do their thing, Rob Lowe is the obvious third-act-reveal villain. The other secret villain, posing at first as the love interest, is Emmanuelle Chriqui, best known as red-head’s girlfriend on Entourage. There’s a shootout, and the Super Troopers win. Spoiler Alert.

There are Mounties in this picture. They are supposed to be French-Canadian, but for some reason take on Russian accents, the most bewildering (and acoustically damaging) of which coming from Will Sasso, a complete travesty considering Sasso himself is Canadian. The Mounties do a ton of screaming. They prank the Super Troopers with a grizzly bear. There is some discussion about television, and the dude from Angie Tribeca (Hayes MacArthur), the film’s brightest spot, a great comedic actor, gets mad.

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Much of the movie revolves around a decades-dead pseudo-rivalry with Canada, and much of the film hopes you laugh at Canadians being uncharacteristically mean. It’s a funny premise worth a chuckle or two, but director Jay Chandrasekhar pounds the joke into the sand, bludgeoning it to death.

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The picture did provide its skeptics a laugh or two with an unintentional meta joke. When Farva (Kevin Heffernan) takes on the prank grizzly bear and ends up tipped-over in a Porta Potty, a physical joke first made a full four years prior to the first Super Troopers, when Father’s Day did it in 1997. After Farva opens the hatch, covered in potty leavin’s, he tells three Super Troopers on-looking from the clubhouse porch, “I barely made it!” He then makes two more bear puns, pounding the joke into the sand, then Mac (Steve Lemme), asks if he should shoot Farva.

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